call it. friendo.

all this stress has been ridiculous. my acne comes in full force when i get really stressed and this time its no different. its shades of high school all over again. the only good thing that can come off of this is the fact that i was really successful when i was really stressed in high school. had my best year as a junior but my face was also pockmarked with this crap. i mustve spent like 40 bucks on acne fighting meds this past 2 weeks. but apparently working out counteracts the hormones and cortisol thats released from when youre really stressed. so with the volleyball season over, i can fit my workouts into my schedule once again. im feeling pretty fat since i havent worked out in a couple of weeks. but that should change soon.

im also going to grow my mohawk back. i miss it. even though everyone and their mom has it now, i think it looks good. kinda "completes" me. lol. it feels weird when i look into the mirror and i dont see the face ive been looking at for the past couple of months. ah well. besides, ive gotten in pretty good with the docs in ct surgery so i think theyll be cool with it.

my recommendations of books to read are thin for now as predicted. part of my reading list at the moment includes; origin of species by charles darwin, richard II by shakespeare, psych and sexual orientation, and my microbiology book. riveting if you ask me. but late september things look like theyll be picking up considerably with the release of the third book in the eragon series, brisingr, and the third book in the wicked series, a lion among men. i cant wait. but how im going to fit that in with all the required reading, i dont know.

heroes finally comes back in a couple of weeks too. along with the office and a couple of other shows. with my schedule though, all i can say is thank god for dvr technology. hehe.

so one of the things ive started doing is marinating meat and doing prep work before the week starts so i can make something quick for the nights i come home exhausted. its during these times that i think that maybe i shouldve been a chef. but then i think that once you start doing something seriously, it loses its appeal. so ill just stick to doing it for fun or necessity for that matter.

something thats been on my mind lately...

ever get that feeling that youre falling behind and that youre kinda slipping into a hole you cant crawl out of. for a while now ive been fighting that feeling and a lot of my time is spent trying to run away from that. its like an ever expanding hole that im constantly running away from but im always at the edge with the threat of falling into it. im not sure how ive managed to stay out of it so far but lately it feels like im slowing down and that no amount of running or fighting it will work. i havent fallen in or anything for that matter, but it feels like im awful close.

ah well. ill see how far i get. i have faith in my abilities and that itll help me stay out of it. nothing that i cant handle. maybe. maybe i just need to win the lottery.